It's like in the transformer cartoons where they get drunk off oil...

So this past weekend The Bear, Blast Beat, Zombi, and I got together for a little practice. So naturally, we were going to drink. So, I bust out from my shitty cellar a bottle of Bitch, Please. This is a collaboration between Three Floyd's from Indiana and Brewdog from the U.K.

**note:this isn't my image, but it's used to know what it looks like. I forgot to take a picture of the beer.**

So, the bear and I put our stuff to chill. We proceed to practice for the new and the old set for some upcoming gigs. So, the time comes and I bust out the Bitch, Please. I pour equal amounts for me and the bear into our pint glasses, and I walk back into the practice room. After taking in the aroma of what seems to be a stout, I notice that it's the darkest barley wine I have had. So I'm standing there and The Bear is waiting a bit before he tries it. I decide to try mine and take a nice, healthy sip. (I've been sitting here trying to figure out a way to say this without sounding like it was written by a 5 yr old...but..) I shake and make a poo face. I'm standing there next to the amp and I shout, "This shit taste like a fucking tire!". Zombi, The Bear, and Blast Beat all look at me like I'm stupid. I sit next to The Bear and he takes his first drink. "what the fuck?! this taste like a burnt eraser". The smokey flavor overpowers everything in this beer. It's pretty much the same as when you are bbqing, and you shower the next day and you wash your hair and your shampoo runs down your face and it smells like the smoked meat from the night before. yeah, it's like that...but in your mouth. I used "and" a lot in that sentence....fuck it, moving on...Now, for some reason....I can't stop drinking it. I refuse to believe that this damn beer made by these two breweries...suck. I finish my beer, but all I taste is that damn smoked flavor. smoke.....smoookeeeeeee....

I give this beer a 3/5 cause...well it is drinkable, but I noticed no other flavors in the beer, other than the damn smoked flavor. I'll try this again in the future...maybe...

Chuck
"Hopthrone"

Just a little umph goes a long way.....

Alright alright alright.... After much neglect, boozin', and other random shit, this thing is back up and running. I've had a few more new beers to review and a few new places to review. So in the immortal words of The Joker...and here we go...

NOLITA PIZZA 
533 E. 13TH STREET 
BROWNSVILLE, TEXAS 78520 
PHONE: (956) 280-5807
they apparently have a website

So, any person you ask what today is, they will respond with the correct answer of "Big Mac Wednesday." Well, sometimes you have to eat something quick and cheap and today was one of those days. I picked up Brava (she's new to to blog, say hello to her in the comments) and I ran some errands. After driving around for a bit, I passed by McDonald's and asked her if she wanted something. She said no and suggested getting some Rutledge. If you read my post about them then you know my answer was yes. We made our way downtown and I forgot ha street Rutledge was on. I took a turn and noticed a red painted building I don't remember seeing from my times of skating downtown. I saw pizza and was like, "whaaaa?" Brava and I agreed to try it out instead of having some burgers. I parked a few blocks down and we hopped onto our skateboards and made our way down the stupid bricked sidewalks cause the streets were full of dickface Brownsville drivers. We hit the location and I pull the door open and walk into a newly renovated place with a good amount of space and tables and I walk up to the counter and see the pizzas they offer. Pepperoni, Italian sausage, and some bullshit with chicken and pork that looked like they just threw left overs of other pizzas on top. After the three pizzas hey had was a tray of "pizza dogs". Interesting. I talk to the lady and order a slice and Brava chooses a pizza dog. The lady offers me a nice deal of 4.25 for 2 slices with a drink so I end up getting pepperoni and Italian sausage. After paying, I get my cup and sit down after filling it with some soda. So, I turn to Brava and we talk about some random topic for less than a minute, I look forward and notice that my order is sitting on the counter. The Fuck??! They must have a super over to heat a slice up like that. I sit down and give Brava her pizza dog and I fold my slice and take my first bite...

THERE ARE NO FLAVORS. THERE ARE NO SPICES
I turn to Brava and she is looking at her pizza dog with a face I can best describe as "pues que chingado es esto". I take another bite of my pizza and I get a small piece of sausage. Now, the sausage is so far spread out that to get a piece of it in every bite you have to fold the slice and still even then the shit sauce they use over powers the ok sausage. I then try adding crushed red pepper and Parmesan. Nope. The cheese and sauce drains flavor out of everything. The best comparison  to a pizza I can give is Peter Piper Pizza. BUT, petter pipper pizza has perfected the cardboard pizza. Since kids we have gone there and had parties and as we get older we wait for our friends kids to have parties there. You can NOT fuck with triple p and his shit.I ask Brava how her pizza dog is and she just hands it to me. I take a bite and it's a fucking weenie wrapped in dough. Where does the pizza come into play? The cheese is flavorless as well and the weenie they used was just on par with FUD brand weenies. Everyone knows how shitty FUD brand items are. If you don't, hope you don't have to find out. I take a bite of the pepperoni and it's a bit better. Since the slices of pepperoni are bigger, you get a bit more than just no flavored bullshit. Brava breaks her silence by just proclaiming, "this is just a fucking weenie they sold us." I turn to my left and see a ray of hope. So beautiful. SO GLORIOUS. I look at my half eaten slice of Italian sausage, my 1/4th done slice of pepperoni and the stupid pizza dog. And I go for it. I lift my plate up and I shove my slices into the trashcan. I take my cup and sip, swish, and spit my soda back into the cup and throw it away. I walk out and make a beeline to Rutledge where I had my good lunch....

I give this place 3/10 just for having refills and a sign that said BYOB. Now, I wont recommend this place to anyone. I will try this again in a few months just to verify this place sucks. The prices are probably what keeps this place open and may be a deal for some. If you like it, all power to you. but why listen to me, what do I know? I just drink good beer and don't eat bullshit.

Pumpkin Pie?

Well here goes my first beer review. Now, if you want indepth, beer snooty, exact hops types bullshit talk I suggest you check out sites like and of course . Me? I'll just say whatever the fuck I want to say. So...here...we....go....


Southern Tier - Pumking

Now, I heard that this is the pumpkin beer to have. 9% ABV and made with real pumpkin. How could this possibly be bad?! After some reading and messaging among friends, a good friend (who will now to refer to as "Agoraphobic") brought back a few bottles of this to try. I got them in and chilled them for a day. When the time came, I cracked a bottle open to help me pass some time waiting for Spot to come home. I poured the bottle into a regular pint glass,and you could smell the pumpkin right off the bat. The spices you can smell remind me of pie, but not too much as everyone says. I take a hearty gulp and the beer tastes like pumpkin. But not as much as pumpkin pie as everyone says. the aftertaste, on the other hand, taste like corn. This too me is nothing like pumpkin pie. The corn aftertaste I can handle and as the beer warms up, its gets a bit spicer. All in all, I would drink this again.

4/5 Sometimes the spices may be a bit overpowering but the taste is really good. But, with most people that tried it, you either love it or hate it.

3rd times a charm....

So, it's been said over and over...but I am returning to doing this. But, now I will not only be talking about food, but also beer and music. So this marks a new name and layput as well. So, things should be rolling soon with a review of La Botanna and Avery Brewery's The Czar!


-Chuck
Degredation of the human pallate....

My damn legs almost gave out....

Burgesa Burgers
5921 North 23rd Street
McAllen, TX 78504
phone: 956-687-PESO (7376) fax: 956-686-4FAX (4329)
email: tres@burguesa.com
hours: Monday thru Thursday 10:30am to 9pm
Friday and Saturday 10:30am to 10pm

So my (now defunct) band had a show in Mcallen a few weeks back. Me and Brava were driving up and Marco Fiesta calls me up and tells me to hurry my ass cause Waters wants to go eat at some place I couldn't understand what he was saying. I get into town meet up with the band and we are off. I pull up into this place and make fun of Marco Fiesta for being Mexican and not knowing how to say Burgesa correctly. Anways, this place has a outside and inside dining area and a window you can walk up to. We go inside and look at the menu and get a insta-boner. I saw the monumental. Let me go ahead and tell you what the fuck is in it. from bottom to top: bun, patty, cheese, patty, cheese, ham, a tostada, re-fried beans, lettuce, tomato, onion, avocado, special sauce, bun. When I saw this I nearly passed out from all the blood in my head rushing straight to my wiener. I then notice they have a hot dog as well with white cheese and jalapenos. So now, I don't know if I should get the burger, the hot dog, or both! I decide to just get a burger. Now when you order, you have the option to either get fries or spicy fries. I go ahead and order the spicy fries to see what they are and ask for no special sauce since it's based with mayo. After a small fight with Spot about not adding bacon to her burger, I walk over to get my drink. I stand there in awe at what I couldn't believe what I was looking at. Not only does this place have Coke, Dr Pepper, and Sprite...they fucking have mexican coke, orange soda, lemon soda, and FUCKING GRAPEFRUIT SODA ON GOD DAMN FOUNTAIN. I fill up my cup and wait for my order to come up. After some dude with a accent calls us up I grab my bag and sit down and look inside to find this...

UN PINCHE CHILE ARRIBE BE MI PINCHE BURGESA BIEN CHIDA WAY! NO MAMES!
I pull out my burger and fries and I hand Hermosa her's and we unwrap them.

Shit was like Christmas. After watching Waters, Fiesta, and Party eat their stuff, we dig in. I bite in and the meat is nice and tender and correctly spiced. The tostada adds a nice bit of texture and feeling. I just think if you order this to go and don't eat it soon enough, it might be a bit soggy. The beans and avocado add to the mixture of flavor of not only having American, but also some Mexican tastes in it. The fries are cooked crispy enough and were sprinkled with chili powder for a little kick. Hermosa just got a cheeseburger and actually enjoyed it. Steve Party got a hot dog and told me it was good. I was way too stuffed to get it and didn't want to puke it up later from all the beer. As a little bonus, they give you a lucky taco, which is just a fortune cookie in taco form. Spot felt screwed cause her taco had no fortune. Mine said Pedro told me some shit I don't remember.

I honestly give this place a 9/10 cause of the taste and the fucking soda selection. The combo costs about 8.00 bucks which seems fine to me. I don't really bitch about prices but if you are on a budget, fuck it.This place might get a 10 if that damn hot dog is delicious. And for all you vegans and stuff, they will replace the meat for a veggie patty. How awesome is that for you?!?

-chuck
"EAT.IRON LUNG.DEATH"

worse than having micheal j fox open your beer...

Mimi's Cafe
I'm not posting a fucking address cause it's letting you know where the fuck this shit hole is....

So, here goes. Me and Hip were on our way to Mac-town to do some shopping and other random shit. On the recommendation of The Bear, we decide on going to Mimi's cafe. The place looks pretty nice, with a somewhat patio are for dining consisting of just 3 tables. The place has a the decor of New Orleans style gumbo, creole, salsa, zydeco whatever the fuck. We walk in and stand there and wait to be seated. So for a minute we are there and the wait staff is walking by us. Another couple walks in and stands there and in the next 30 seconds the host walks up and seats them, and as she is walking away asks "Were you going to eat here too?". Well, no shit you dumb bitch. I came in more to look at the beautiful artwork you had and was hoping for info on where your supplier gets wonderful pieces of southern style art! We get seated by a dude who has a tie too small for his girth and we scan the menu. I literally saw nothing that was really tempting. But, I came across a chicken sandwich that looked delicious. I don't even remember what the fuck hip had cause the shit sucked too. Anyways, I get my Dr. Pepper and bullshit with Hip about stuff. Our food comes and we just look at it. I am kinda weary about it, and I take my first bite. I chew and stop and look at hip who hasn't even cut her food yet. She looks at me and just says "It sucks?". NOPE. IT FUCKING BLOWS. The bland as chicken has no flavor and the only thing i can even taste is something I don't know what it is but it taste like cardboard. Hip eats her's and just sighs. Now, I love food and in the history of me eating at restaurants...I HAVE NEVER RETURNED A PLATE. NEVER NEVER NEVER. I'm sitting there and try another bite trying to maybe think to myself its good. I fail at that and when the waiter returns I tell him how bad the food is. I ask for something different. I ordered something else that i dont even fucking remember. I sat there looking at my 2nd failed meal. I drank the soda to wash out the taste. I sat there looking around at the other shit people were eating and how in the fuck they were enjoying it. I also then realized Hip and I were the only people under the age of 60 there (besides the staff). I left my food, paid my bill and walked out....

All in all, I rate this place a huge fuck you. this place sucked more ass than a old man doing a rusty trumpet. I vow never to go back to this place. The Bear told me to go back and have the chicken pot pie. but if i wanted that shit I'd just go to HEB.

How Original...

Taqueria Los Patrones
1900 N. Expressway 77
Brownsville, Texas 78521
(956) 542-2967


Alrighty, so Hip has a bad day at work and wants to go have a drink or two. How the fuck am I going to say no to beer. So we head to "The Bar" and as we get there she says she wants to get something to eat real quick. So, next door to the bar is this taco place. We walk in and I sit down at the bar they have for some reason and this dude gives us a menu. Now, after getting the menu, the waiter lets us know that they only go tacos al pastor and hamburgers. Why even try to be open? What I wanted wasnt even available. So, I get the tacos al pastor, and Hip ends up somehow ordering flautas. Now, HIP LOVES FLAUTAS. She end sup loving this place cause they went out of their way and made her some. Me? I wasn't so thrilled. This place had the same atmosphere and every hole in the wall. I get my tacos and they are just like every damn taco place out there. I bite into them. Same taste. Now, I know right now I sound fucking stupid, but I mean there has been times when you go eat somewhere and the same fucking item they sell everywhere is so much better. I mean, look at how fucking popular Betty's Tortas got. It was the same shit, but something about those were so fucking good. Maybe they even went as far as adding cocaine to the butter they would spread on them. Anyways, I eat my food and drink my soda. That's as much as I can say. No cool story. Nothing spectacular. Just food.

Yup. Just like any other lamenated taco place menu.


These kinda look better than most flautas, but they weren't.

I rate this place as a 5 for not being horrible but not being good. This place was so mundane, I couldn't even think of anything funny, exciting, or even bullshit about it. meh....

-CHUCK
"Black Beans Of The Damned"

Winds Of Change....

I'm thinking of changing up the blog to include food, music and some other random shit...I guess basically making this blog my own little corner of the internet...

I haven't posted a new review in a while cause im pondering what to fucking do...

More like...FUCK YES GRILL

Fajitas Grill
568 Springmart Blvd Ste, 1300
Brownsville, Texas
(956)350-2200


Well, Pala and her boy were eating and sent me a text asking if I was hungry. I replied "yes" and thus, I recieved some tacos from some place she was at. They were good and she mentioned where they were from but I was busy at work and just let it be. So, some times passes and Hip wants some flautas. We make a wrong turn and end up by Fajitas Grill. Hip pulls in and we get out and she was all skeptical. The waiter, Raul, was super nice. He answered all our questions and eases Hip into eating there. Me, I didn't really give a shit cause I was hungry. Like any other mexican food place, no refills (only on tea), badass mexican sodas, and tea. I order a tea and they serve us a huge ass glass which makes me happy. Now, the whole time Raul is being badass. He brings us our salsa, which the green was the best, our tortilla chips, lemons, and the such. To my surprise, Raul brings us some bowl with guacamole. What is awesome is that it is unmixed and Hip gets a bit and mixes it without onion and I can mix all I want together. We ordered a thing called the Sencilla "para 2" and ask for white cheese to be added. Raul bring us some beans. Now, being from South Texas and eating at so many mexican restaurants, usually, they don't give a shit about the beans. Well, this place does. I was suprised they tasted good alone, and even better when I added some green salsa and a pinch of salt. Teamed up with some tostadas, this shit was good. This next sentence way sound weird or gross, but I don't give a shit and I'm going to say it. Even the bean water was delicious! ha ha ha. I added some crushed chips and ate it like that. They also brought us a small amount of rice...but it kinda sucked. Not too much flavor, Raul pops up with our food and I marvel at it. Hip gets her fork and digs in and I get all giddy when this happens...

AWWWW YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Now, that is some epic shit that belongs up there with blow jobs, firecrackers, and getting records in the mail! The fajtita is nicely seasoned and soft. Not too soft where it falls apart but lets you savour it as you chew through it. The chicken fajita is tender and I liked it, but Hip thought it sucked. And, the sausage was a nice little side item to have. I made a few tacos of fajita, guacamole, grilled onions, green salsa, and some rice. Try it out!

I rate this place a 7/10 and a thumbs up. I was surprised at the great service Raul offered but, like always my gripe is on refills...but nothing else. I gave it a 7 cause I haven't tried other menu items. I recommend this place if you're going to chill with some friends. Funny thing is that the tvs they had on, were playing 1000 ways to die and powerpuff girls ha ha ha. Remember to tip Raul if you get him well.

Chuck
"Cibatta Of Ghouls"

*quick side note*
They told me during the upcoming playoff games, they will have 1.50 domestic bottle beers, half priced botanas, and half priced sencilla plates (which is what we ordered)!!!!


A nice view of the cheese covered food, the small bean bowl, and the guacamole bowl. Check out how huge the tea glass looks!

I'm back bitches!

So, I have a fuck ton of unpublished posts for this blog. I have been neglecting most of the shit in my life to deal with school and other superficial shit, but now I got the time to update this more often. I may scrap the old posts and redo the format. I am also making some stickers to advertise the blog but I need some photoshop help. More on that later. Anyways, I recently joined the 21st century and got a new cellphone. I now will be including pictures of the dishes, as well as other shit too! The next post will be up either tonight or tomorrow. stay tuned!


Chuck
"Unholy Crepe"


Done by Krystal ha ha ha

My Record is 13....

Taquito Express
744 BOCA CHICA BLVD
BROWNSVILLE, TX 78520

Alright, this place is one of my favorite restaurants in Brownsville. I first come across this place cause I wanted tacos but I was tired of Mr. Taco and didn't feel like eating Ultimo Taco. Hip and I go here alot. I mention this place to anyone who asks about tacos and back in pretty well. I first went to this place to get food to go. I asked for a potato (I love baked potatos) and Hip got some toastads. I asked the dude how big they were and said normal size. We get back to Hip's house and i bust open the to go plate and this fucking beast of a potato is waiting for me with melted cheese, sour cream, and cut up bistek. I dug in and the potato was cooked perfect, the bistek seasoned just right, and the sour cream was just enough. Now, if you ever been to Rudy's and had the potato...Fuck those! THESE RIGHT HERE KILLS THOSE. If I had to compare these two together...the Taquito Express taco is like getting a blow job from Megan Fox, and the rudys is like getting a gummer from your Joan Rivers. So, I return once more to try the tacos. all you can eat taco for 6 bucks. Really?! YES REALLY! Any combination you want. Bistek, Trompo, Molleja, Pollo, or fajita wait your choosing. Now, your thinking...they probably skimp out on the meat. NOPE. This tacos are packed. They start you off with eight and give you a plate of onions. Best of all...The tortillas are not fried in grease. Great if you are all health nut or something. The service there is great and they are rather fast. At times you sit and order and get your soda and tacos within the 5 minuted you are there. Usually we try to out eat each other when we go here for tacos. So far this is how it goes on records...

Chuck - 13
Marzipan - 12
Hip - 6 (ha h ha)
Enforcer - 15!!!
Snake - 11

The place gets a thumbs up and is rated 8/10. It would be a total ten if they had refills on sodas but most taco places don't. Also, the one plate I ordered that was bad were the panchos. Stay clear of those. Also, if you get a potato, order a pirata de harina with it. Those things are just wonderful!

-Chuck
"Screaming for Vegtables"

review i am working on....

I've been working and crammin' for school. So, I have yet to update this thing. I will be doing this soon. This is what is coming up...

taquito express
cafe shiraz
and a few other posts.

-chuck
"Eat, Fight, And Fuck"

Didn't I Eat This Before?

Asia Buffet
251 E Morrison Rd
Brownsville, TX
78526-3373

So, once again me and hip were hungry driving around for some reason. Work has been talking about this place since it opened, so I told hip to go there. The place walking in look like Lin's and the door has a sign saying "Lunch 10% off". We walk in and pay 11 bucks (damn, good thing they had the 10% off cause I didn't know I was going to have enough). I sit down and this ok looking asian with breasts and no butt comes up for out drink order. I order my Dr. Pepper as I stare at her hickey on her neck. I get up scan the food....Usual shit. Fruit, chicken nuggets, rice, fish, sushi, grill, pizza, rice. MEH. Same shit. Now, I was expecting some new shit, but atleast some new tastes. Everything I tried seemed if they bought it from the same suppliers from every other asaian buffet place. As we ate overhearing the conversation about breasts between the coaches from vella middle school the next table over, I got up and looked for some non-fish sushi. Turns out they had some weird wasabi, avacado, cream cheese, and ginger roll. I shoved it in my mouth and gagged. Crapped sucked. I don't even like fish so why I wanted to try this at the time is beyond me. The service was good, but as usual you ask someone for something and you get blank stares cause of the language barrier. I ate. I leave. Nothing New.

5/10. Meh. This is the same shit you can get anywhere else. If you like Lin's, go there, if you are near the area and want Lin's, just go to Asia Buffet. But! Go to Tasty's to get some Potstickers on Buffet!!!!!

-chuck
"Slaves (of the Croissan'Wich)"

This Is Like Lesbian Sex In My Mouth!

Rutledge Burgers
1126 E. Washington St.
Brownsville, Texas
78520

So, me and Hip had to go downtown. It seems when I was a kid I ate here with my mom but as I got older I thought I was looking into someone's house. Anyways, we were downtown and I saw the burger sign and was like "What the fuck is a burger sign doing there", Hip informed me of the hole in the wall known as..SUPER AWESOME HUNGER DEVASTAING NUCLEAR BURGERS OF SATAN, or also known as Rutledge. So this place has been open since 1924 and uses the same grill. We walk into what seems to be a hallway and sit on a table bolted into the wall. This place is fucking small and hot. You can't stand in the middle and stick your arms out cause it;s that cramp. Well, we order our usual Dr. Peppers and look over the menu. Standard stuff. I order a burger with cheese and Ham. Yes! FUCKING SLICED HAM IN MY BURGER! So, I order two for myself. They come in that paper with the grease on it that when you look at it and you think, "fuck me, awesome". The meats juciy, the ham is cooked to that crispy goodness, and for 2.10 a pop, they are worth it. If the burgers were a bit bigger, shit would be amazing, but the size isn't that important when you taste these. Well, you'd be kinda pissed when you finish them. I recommend this if you are downtown, don't want churchs, and can stand eating somewhere with no air con. If you are a whiny bitch, get the fuck off my blog.

7/10 Good Burgers, but nothing else on the menu made me want to try it. If you are really hungry stay away from this place since each item is sold seperately, plus I didn't see any combos.

-chuck
"Tabasco Funeral"

If I Had To Describe The Taste, The Best Way I Can Put It In 3 Words Is "Tina Fey's Vagina"

Philly's Americana
2155 Expwy 77 N. Suite G
Brownsville, TX 78520
ph: (956)554-7000

I saw this place one night driving over to Denny's. I eagerly awaited for it to open and after a long day at work and dealing with fucking idiots all day, I see the shining open sign like a beautiful set of boobies. I call up a friend and we are there in 5 mins. I walk in and sit down on a coors light barstool [fuck budweiser] and I get handed a menu. I scan it over and it's a simple menu with not much on it. The staff is friendly, atmosphere is good, and the prices are reasonable. After taking a recommendation from the owner I end up getting a Buffalo Chicken "Cheesesteak". Yeah I know, I went to a cheesesteak place and didn't even try the original. I wanted it, I got it. I get to see the food being prepared as I kinda watch sportscenter or some show. The food comes and the first thing me and my "hip" do is smell the greatness. I bite into my sandwich and instanly get hit with the delicious buffalo sauce and provolone. I savoured it as much as I could while devouring it. "Hip" had a mushroom philly. I took a bite from that and was stoked there was an actual amount of mushrooms. Now, since I had ate this being eager and hungry as hell..maybe I liked it just cause of that. So, I went back again. "Hip" and I go back. This time I hit up a original philly with whiz and onions. FUCK YES. I ate this happily watching the Astros play and now as I type this I think im going there for lunch today. I really recommend this place if you like simple things. If you are a person who likes a fill blown menu, you'll hate this place. But if you just want to drink a brew, have a good sandwich and watch a game, then this place is for you.

8/10 they would have gotten a 10 if they had refills. They are just starting out so check them out. Total Tumbs Up...

-chuck
"At War With False Salsas"

Hollow Flavorless Letdowns....

Taqueria Lilia
2514 Boca Chica Blvd
Brownsville, TX
(956)504-6217

Well, I wanted mexican food. As we were driving down Boca Chica I've always seen this place but never stopped. It's the shack looking place next to Lin's FYI. Anyways, since it's been open since I can remember, I told my partner in crime to check it out. We stopped and wondering if the fucking place was open. It looked dead, no typical music, and I saw jackshit of life. In my head I was thinking it was cause it was late, lets try it out. I sit down and the hag of a waitress asks what we are drinking. I notice there was no refills on anything. NOT EVEN FUCKING TEA. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? SERIOUSLY? ON TEA?! YOU CHEAP FUCKS IT'S WATER AND A GOD DAMN POWDER [well to me it is]. I order a Dr. Pepper and review the menu. This lamenated, badly photoshopped menu had little items...yet the pics on the wall show amazing looking tortas and these flautas. The menus has typical items. Beans, tortas, tacos, nachos, and what caught my eyes...Now, I ask for these amazing looking flautas and wait a reasonable amount of time for them to arrive. As I am trying not to finish my Dr. Pepper, I notice we have been there for a good while and not another person come in. Our food comes and these what seemed to be flautas made of playdoh show up on this plate that looks like it was found in some shitty store downtown. I end up trying to be optomistic on this sorta thing. This looks nothing like the pic. Now, I know you never get anything looking like the pictures you see on tv or menus but this was way off. Basically, I ordered from the picture was a ferrari and I ended up getting a moped. I bit into these crispy tortillas and taste the delicious, nourishing, delightful...tortilla. Wait, what!? Where the chicken? I take another bite wondering to myself if they just didn's spread it out correctly. No chicken taste on the 3rd bite...So I open one of these "flautas" and see that there is chicken..in some parts. Alright, so the flautas suck. NO refills. THE SALSA! MAYBE ATLEAST THAT WILL TASTE GOOD. negative. NOPE. Bland tomato soupy crap with no spices. This place is just striking out. Now, I always finish my meals no matter how bad it is. I get up to pay and now I order 2 orders of flauta. 6 bucks a plate. 2 Dr. Peppers come out to 4 bucks. Now these prices are rounded off and if you add that up...6+6+4+TAX is maybe like 18, 19 bucks. The fucking dude charges me 22 bucks. I ask if tip is included and he says, "No". The fuck? How does this add up? I'm to pissed to give a shit so I pay, don't leave a tip, and I return to my seat. I sip the last of my soda and notice I'm sitting next to the neon open sign. I proceed to turn this light off and leave.

I'm not even going to rate this place. Taqueria Lilia gets a huge Thumbs Down. It even gets the "nah uh" award. NOONE HAS EVER GOTTEN A "NAH UH"

-CHUCK
"If You Are Vegan, Do Not Entry"

The Beginning

So,

This started as a joke with a few friends. And with some time on my hands I decided to actually try this out. I go out to eat alot and usually tell people the check this place out and the sorts, so I'm going to update this blog with my random stuff. I'm not a food critic of any sorts, I'm just a regular dude with regular taste buds. So some of these entries are going to be pretty one sided. Randomly, I will also include entries from others as well...

-Chuck
"Only Mustard Is Real..."