More like...FUCK YES GRILL

Fajitas Grill
568 Springmart Blvd Ste, 1300
Brownsville, Texas
(956)350-2200


Well, Pala and her boy were eating and sent me a text asking if I was hungry. I replied "yes" and thus, I recieved some tacos from some place she was at. They were good and she mentioned where they were from but I was busy at work and just let it be. So, some times passes and Hip wants some flautas. We make a wrong turn and end up by Fajitas Grill. Hip pulls in and we get out and she was all skeptical. The waiter, Raul, was super nice. He answered all our questions and eases Hip into eating there. Me, I didn't really give a shit cause I was hungry. Like any other mexican food place, no refills (only on tea), badass mexican sodas, and tea. I order a tea and they serve us a huge ass glass which makes me happy. Now, the whole time Raul is being badass. He brings us our salsa, which the green was the best, our tortilla chips, lemons, and the such. To my surprise, Raul brings us some bowl with guacamole. What is awesome is that it is unmixed and Hip gets a bit and mixes it without onion and I can mix all I want together. We ordered a thing called the Sencilla "para 2" and ask for white cheese to be added. Raul bring us some beans. Now, being from South Texas and eating at so many mexican restaurants, usually, they don't give a shit about the beans. Well, this place does. I was suprised they tasted good alone, and even better when I added some green salsa and a pinch of salt. Teamed up with some tostadas, this shit was good. This next sentence way sound weird or gross, but I don't give a shit and I'm going to say it. Even the bean water was delicious! ha ha ha. I added some crushed chips and ate it like that. They also brought us a small amount of rice...but it kinda sucked. Not too much flavor, Raul pops up with our food and I marvel at it. Hip gets her fork and digs in and I get all giddy when this happens...

AWWWW YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Now, that is some epic shit that belongs up there with blow jobs, firecrackers, and getting records in the mail! The fajtita is nicely seasoned and soft. Not too soft where it falls apart but lets you savour it as you chew through it. The chicken fajita is tender and I liked it, but Hip thought it sucked. And, the sausage was a nice little side item to have. I made a few tacos of fajita, guacamole, grilled onions, green salsa, and some rice. Try it out!

I rate this place a 7/10 and a thumbs up. I was surprised at the great service Raul offered but, like always my gripe is on refills...but nothing else. I gave it a 7 cause I haven't tried other menu items. I recommend this place if you're going to chill with some friends. Funny thing is that the tvs they had on, were playing 1000 ways to die and powerpuff girls ha ha ha. Remember to tip Raul if you get him well.

Chuck
"Cibatta Of Ghouls"

*quick side note*
They told me during the upcoming playoff games, they will have 1.50 domestic bottle beers, half priced botanas, and half priced sencilla plates (which is what we ordered)!!!!


A nice view of the cheese covered food, the small bean bowl, and the guacamole bowl. Check out how huge the tea glass looks!

My Record is 13....

Taquito Express
744 BOCA CHICA BLVD
BROWNSVILLE, TX 78520

Alright, this place is one of my favorite restaurants in Brownsville. I first come across this place cause I wanted tacos but I was tired of Mr. Taco and didn't feel like eating Ultimo Taco. Hip and I go here alot. I mention this place to anyone who asks about tacos and back in pretty well. I first went to this place to get food to go. I asked for a potato (I love baked potatos) and Hip got some toastads. I asked the dude how big they were and said normal size. We get back to Hip's house and i bust open the to go plate and this fucking beast of a potato is waiting for me with melted cheese, sour cream, and cut up bistek. I dug in and the potato was cooked perfect, the bistek seasoned just right, and the sour cream was just enough. Now, if you ever been to Rudy's and had the potato...Fuck those! THESE RIGHT HERE KILLS THOSE. If I had to compare these two together...the Taquito Express taco is like getting a blow job from Megan Fox, and the rudys is like getting a gummer from your Joan Rivers. So, I return once more to try the tacos. all you can eat taco for 6 bucks. Really?! YES REALLY! Any combination you want. Bistek, Trompo, Molleja, Pollo, or fajita wait your choosing. Now, your thinking...they probably skimp out on the meat. NOPE. This tacos are packed. They start you off with eight and give you a plate of onions. Best of all...The tortillas are not fried in grease. Great if you are all health nut or something. The service there is great and they are rather fast. At times you sit and order and get your soda and tacos within the 5 minuted you are there. Usually we try to out eat each other when we go here for tacos. So far this is how it goes on records...

Chuck - 13
Marzipan - 12
Hip - 6 (ha h ha)
Enforcer - 15!!!
Snake - 11

The place gets a thumbs up and is rated 8/10. It would be a total ten if they had refills on sodas but most taco places don't. Also, the one plate I ordered that was bad were the panchos. Stay clear of those. Also, if you get a potato, order a pirata de harina with it. Those things are just wonderful!

-Chuck
"Screaming for Vegtables"

This Is Like Lesbian Sex In My Mouth!

Rutledge Burgers
1126 E. Washington St.
Brownsville, Texas
78520

So, me and Hip had to go downtown. It seems when I was a kid I ate here with my mom but as I got older I thought I was looking into someone's house. Anyways, we were downtown and I saw the burger sign and was like "What the fuck is a burger sign doing there", Hip informed me of the hole in the wall known as..SUPER AWESOME HUNGER DEVASTAING NUCLEAR BURGERS OF SATAN, or also known as Rutledge. So this place has been open since 1924 and uses the same grill. We walk into what seems to be a hallway and sit on a table bolted into the wall. This place is fucking small and hot. You can't stand in the middle and stick your arms out cause it;s that cramp. Well, we order our usual Dr. Peppers and look over the menu. Standard stuff. I order a burger with cheese and Ham. Yes! FUCKING SLICED HAM IN MY BURGER! So, I order two for myself. They come in that paper with the grease on it that when you look at it and you think, "fuck me, awesome". The meats juciy, the ham is cooked to that crispy goodness, and for 2.10 a pop, they are worth it. If the burgers were a bit bigger, shit would be amazing, but the size isn't that important when you taste these. Well, you'd be kinda pissed when you finish them. I recommend this if you are downtown, don't want churchs, and can stand eating somewhere with no air con. If you are a whiny bitch, get the fuck off my blog.

7/10 Good Burgers, but nothing else on the menu made me want to try it. If you are really hungry stay away from this place since each item is sold seperately, plus I didn't see any combos.

-chuck
"Tabasco Funeral"

If I Had To Describe The Taste, The Best Way I Can Put It In 3 Words Is "Tina Fey's Vagina"

Philly's Americana
2155 Expwy 77 N. Suite G
Brownsville, TX 78520
ph: (956)554-7000

I saw this place one night driving over to Denny's. I eagerly awaited for it to open and after a long day at work and dealing with fucking idiots all day, I see the shining open sign like a beautiful set of boobies. I call up a friend and we are there in 5 mins. I walk in and sit down on a coors light barstool [fuck budweiser] and I get handed a menu. I scan it over and it's a simple menu with not much on it. The staff is friendly, atmosphere is good, and the prices are reasonable. After taking a recommendation from the owner I end up getting a Buffalo Chicken "Cheesesteak". Yeah I know, I went to a cheesesteak place and didn't even try the original. I wanted it, I got it. I get to see the food being prepared as I kinda watch sportscenter or some show. The food comes and the first thing me and my "hip" do is smell the greatness. I bite into my sandwich and instanly get hit with the delicious buffalo sauce and provolone. I savoured it as much as I could while devouring it. "Hip" had a mushroom philly. I took a bite from that and was stoked there was an actual amount of mushrooms. Now, since I had ate this being eager and hungry as hell..maybe I liked it just cause of that. So, I went back again. "Hip" and I go back. This time I hit up a original philly with whiz and onions. FUCK YES. I ate this happily watching the Astros play and now as I type this I think im going there for lunch today. I really recommend this place if you like simple things. If you are a person who likes a fill blown menu, you'll hate this place. But if you just want to drink a brew, have a good sandwich and watch a game, then this place is for you.

8/10 they would have gotten a 10 if they had refills. They are just starting out so check them out. Total Tumbs Up...

-chuck
"At War With False Salsas"