My damn legs almost gave out....

Burgesa Burgers
5921 North 23rd Street
McAllen, TX 78504
phone: 956-687-PESO (7376) fax: 956-686-4FAX (4329)
email: tres@burguesa.com
hours: Monday thru Thursday 10:30am to 9pm
Friday and Saturday 10:30am to 10pm

So my (now defunct) band had a show in Mcallen a few weeks back. Me and Brava were driving up and Marco Fiesta calls me up and tells me to hurry my ass cause Waters wants to go eat at some place I couldn't understand what he was saying. I get into town meet up with the band and we are off. I pull up into this place and make fun of Marco Fiesta for being Mexican and not knowing how to say Burgesa correctly. Anways, this place has a outside and inside dining area and a window you can walk up to. We go inside and look at the menu and get a insta-boner. I saw the monumental. Let me go ahead and tell you what the fuck is in it. from bottom to top: bun, patty, cheese, patty, cheese, ham, a tostada, re-fried beans, lettuce, tomato, onion, avocado, special sauce, bun. When I saw this I nearly passed out from all the blood in my head rushing straight to my wiener. I then notice they have a hot dog as well with white cheese and jalapenos. So now, I don't know if I should get the burger, the hot dog, or both! I decide to just get a burger. Now when you order, you have the option to either get fries or spicy fries. I go ahead and order the spicy fries to see what they are and ask for no special sauce since it's based with mayo. After a small fight with Spot about not adding bacon to her burger, I walk over to get my drink. I stand there in awe at what I couldn't believe what I was looking at. Not only does this place have Coke, Dr Pepper, and Sprite...they fucking have mexican coke, orange soda, lemon soda, and FUCKING GRAPEFRUIT SODA ON GOD DAMN FOUNTAIN. I fill up my cup and wait for my order to come up. After some dude with a accent calls us up I grab my bag and sit down and look inside to find this...

UN PINCHE CHILE ARRIBE BE MI PINCHE BURGESA BIEN CHIDA WAY! NO MAMES!
I pull out my burger and fries and I hand Hermosa her's and we unwrap them.

Shit was like Christmas. After watching Waters, Fiesta, and Party eat their stuff, we dig in. I bite in and the meat is nice and tender and correctly spiced. The tostada adds a nice bit of texture and feeling. I just think if you order this to go and don't eat it soon enough, it might be a bit soggy. The beans and avocado add to the mixture of flavor of not only having American, but also some Mexican tastes in it. The fries are cooked crispy enough and were sprinkled with chili powder for a little kick. Hermosa just got a cheeseburger and actually enjoyed it. Steve Party got a hot dog and told me it was good. I was way too stuffed to get it and didn't want to puke it up later from all the beer. As a little bonus, they give you a lucky taco, which is just a fortune cookie in taco form. Spot felt screwed cause her taco had no fortune. Mine said Pedro told me some shit I don't remember.

I honestly give this place a 9/10 cause of the taste and the fucking soda selection. The combo costs about 8.00 bucks which seems fine to me. I don't really bitch about prices but if you are on a budget, fuck it.This place might get a 10 if that damn hot dog is delicious. And for all you vegans and stuff, they will replace the meat for a veggie patty. How awesome is that for you?!?

-chuck
"EAT.IRON LUNG.DEATH"

This Is Like Lesbian Sex In My Mouth!

Rutledge Burgers
1126 E. Washington St.
Brownsville, Texas
78520

So, me and Hip had to go downtown. It seems when I was a kid I ate here with my mom but as I got older I thought I was looking into someone's house. Anyways, we were downtown and I saw the burger sign and was like "What the fuck is a burger sign doing there", Hip informed me of the hole in the wall known as..SUPER AWESOME HUNGER DEVASTAING NUCLEAR BURGERS OF SATAN, or also known as Rutledge. So this place has been open since 1924 and uses the same grill. We walk into what seems to be a hallway and sit on a table bolted into the wall. This place is fucking small and hot. You can't stand in the middle and stick your arms out cause it;s that cramp. Well, we order our usual Dr. Peppers and look over the menu. Standard stuff. I order a burger with cheese and Ham. Yes! FUCKING SLICED HAM IN MY BURGER! So, I order two for myself. They come in that paper with the grease on it that when you look at it and you think, "fuck me, awesome". The meats juciy, the ham is cooked to that crispy goodness, and for 2.10 a pop, they are worth it. If the burgers were a bit bigger, shit would be amazing, but the size isn't that important when you taste these. Well, you'd be kinda pissed when you finish them. I recommend this if you are downtown, don't want churchs, and can stand eating somewhere with no air con. If you are a whiny bitch, get the fuck off my blog.

7/10 Good Burgers, but nothing else on the menu made me want to try it. If you are really hungry stay away from this place since each item is sold seperately, plus I didn't see any combos.

-chuck
"Tabasco Funeral"