Taquito Express
744 BOCA CHICA BLVD
BROWNSVILLE, TX 78520
Alright, this place is one of my favorite restaurants in Brownsville. I first come across this place cause I wanted tacos but I was tired of Mr. Taco and didn't feel like eating Ultimo Taco. Hip and I go here alot. I mention this place to anyone who asks about tacos and back in pretty well. I first went to this place to get food to go. I asked for a potato (I love baked potatos) and Hip got some toastads. I asked the dude how big they were and said normal size. We get back to Hip's house and i bust open the to go plate and this fucking beast of a potato is waiting for me with melted cheese, sour cream, and cut up bistek. I dug in and the potato was cooked perfect, the bistek seasoned just right, and the sour cream was just enough. Now, if you ever been to Rudy's and had the potato...Fuck those! THESE RIGHT HERE KILLS THOSE. If I had to compare these two together...the Taquito Express taco is like getting a blow job from Megan Fox, and the rudys is like getting a gummer from your Joan Rivers. So, I return once more to try the tacos. all you can eat taco for 6 bucks. Really?! YES REALLY! Any combination you want. Bistek, Trompo, Molleja, Pollo, or fajita wait your choosing. Now, your thinking...they probably skimp out on the meat. NOPE. This tacos are packed. They start you off with eight and give you a plate of onions. Best of all...The tortillas are not fried in grease. Great if you are all health nut or something. The service there is great and they are rather fast. At times you sit and order and get your soda and tacos within the 5 minuted you are there. Usually we try to out eat each other when we go here for tacos. So far this is how it goes on records...
Chuck - 13
Marzipan - 12
Hip - 6 (ha h ha)
Enforcer - 15!!!
Snake - 11
The place gets a thumbs up and is rated 8/10. It would be a total ten if they had refills on sodas but most taco places don't. Also, the one plate I ordered that was bad were the panchos. Stay clear of those. Also, if you get a potato, order a pirata de harina with it. Those things are just wonderful!
-Chuck
"Screaming for Vegtables"
Friday, August 28, 2009
review i am working on....
I've been working and crammin' for school. So, I have yet to update this thing. I will be doing this soon. This is what is coming up...
taquito express
cafe shiraz
and a few other posts.
-chuck
"Eat, Fight, And Fuck"
taquito express
cafe shiraz
and a few other posts.
-chuck
"Eat, Fight, And Fuck"
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Didn't I Eat This Before?
Asia Buffet
251 E Morrison Rd
Brownsville, TX
78526-3373
So, once again me and hip were hungry driving around for some reason. Work has been talking about this place since it opened, so I told hip to go there. The place walking in look like Lin's and the door has a sign saying "Lunch 10% off". We walk in and pay 11 bucks (damn, good thing they had the 10% off cause I didn't know I was going to have enough). I sit down and this ok looking asian with breasts and no butt comes up for out drink order. I order my Dr. Pepper as I stare at her hickey on her neck. I get up scan the food....Usual shit. Fruit, chicken nuggets, rice, fish, sushi, grill, pizza, rice. MEH. Same shit. Now, I was expecting some new shit, but atleast some new tastes. Everything I tried seemed if they bought it from the same suppliers from every other asaian buffet place. As we ate overhearing the conversation about breasts between the coaches from vella middle school the next table over, I got up and looked for some non-fish sushi. Turns out they had some weird wasabi, avacado, cream cheese, and ginger roll. I shoved it in my mouth and gagged. Crapped sucked. I don't even like fish so why I wanted to try this at the time is beyond me. The service was good, but as usual you ask someone for something and you get blank stares cause of the language barrier. I ate. I leave. Nothing New.
5/10. Meh. This is the same shit you can get anywhere else. If you like Lin's, go there, if you are near the area and want Lin's, just go to Asia Buffet. But! Go to Tasty's to get some Potstickers on Buffet!!!!!
-chuck
"Slaves (of the Croissan'Wich)"
251 E Morrison Rd
Brownsville, TX
78526-3373
So, once again me and hip were hungry driving around for some reason. Work has been talking about this place since it opened, so I told hip to go there. The place walking in look like Lin's and the door has a sign saying "Lunch 10% off". We walk in and pay 11 bucks (damn, good thing they had the 10% off cause I didn't know I was going to have enough). I sit down and this ok looking asian with breasts and no butt comes up for out drink order. I order my Dr. Pepper as I stare at her hickey on her neck. I get up scan the food....Usual shit. Fruit, chicken nuggets, rice, fish, sushi, grill, pizza, rice. MEH. Same shit. Now, I was expecting some new shit, but atleast some new tastes. Everything I tried seemed if they bought it from the same suppliers from every other asaian buffet place. As we ate overhearing the conversation about breasts between the coaches from vella middle school the next table over, I got up and looked for some non-fish sushi. Turns out they had some weird wasabi, avacado, cream cheese, and ginger roll. I shoved it in my mouth and gagged. Crapped sucked. I don't even like fish so why I wanted to try this at the time is beyond me. The service was good, but as usual you ask someone for something and you get blank stares cause of the language barrier. I ate. I leave. Nothing New.
5/10. Meh. This is the same shit you can get anywhere else. If you like Lin's, go there, if you are near the area and want Lin's, just go to Asia Buffet. But! Go to Tasty's to get some Potstickers on Buffet!!!!!
-chuck
"Slaves (of the Croissan'Wich)"
This Is Like Lesbian Sex In My Mouth!
Rutledge Burgers
1126 E. Washington St.
Brownsville, Texas
78520
So, me and Hip had to go downtown. It seems when I was a kid I ate here with my mom but as I got older I thought I was looking into someone's house. Anyways, we were downtown and I saw the burger sign and was like "What the fuck is a burger sign doing there", Hip informed me of the hole in the wall known as..SUPER AWESOME HUNGER DEVASTAING NUCLEAR BURGERS OF SATAN, or also known as Rutledge. So this place has been open since 1924 and uses the same grill. We walk into what seems to be a hallway and sit on a table bolted into the wall. This place is fucking small and hot. You can't stand in the middle and stick your arms out cause it;s that cramp. Well, we order our usual Dr. Peppers and look over the menu. Standard stuff. I order a burger with cheese and Ham. Yes! FUCKING SLICED HAM IN MY BURGER! So, I order two for myself. They come in that paper with the grease on it that when you look at it and you think, "fuck me, awesome". The meats juciy, the ham is cooked to that crispy goodness, and for 2.10 a pop, they are worth it. If the burgers were a bit bigger, shit would be amazing, but the size isn't that important when you taste these. Well, you'd be kinda pissed when you finish them. I recommend this if you are downtown, don't want churchs, and can stand eating somewhere with no air con. If you are a whiny bitch, get the fuck off my blog.
7/10 Good Burgers, but nothing else on the menu made me want to try it. If you are really hungry stay away from this place since each item is sold seperately, plus I didn't see any combos.
-chuck
"Tabasco Funeral"
1126 E. Washington St.
Brownsville, Texas
78520
So, me and Hip had to go downtown. It seems when I was a kid I ate here with my mom but as I got older I thought I was looking into someone's house. Anyways, we were downtown and I saw the burger sign and was like "What the fuck is a burger sign doing there", Hip informed me of the hole in the wall known as..SUPER AWESOME HUNGER DEVASTAING NUCLEAR BURGERS OF SATAN, or also known as Rutledge. So this place has been open since 1924 and uses the same grill. We walk into what seems to be a hallway and sit on a table bolted into the wall. This place is fucking small and hot. You can't stand in the middle and stick your arms out cause it;s that cramp. Well, we order our usual Dr. Peppers and look over the menu. Standard stuff. I order a burger with cheese and Ham. Yes! FUCKING SLICED HAM IN MY BURGER! So, I order two for myself. They come in that paper with the grease on it that when you look at it and you think, "fuck me, awesome". The meats juciy, the ham is cooked to that crispy goodness, and for 2.10 a pop, they are worth it. If the burgers were a bit bigger, shit would be amazing, but the size isn't that important when you taste these. Well, you'd be kinda pissed when you finish them. I recommend this if you are downtown, don't want churchs, and can stand eating somewhere with no air con. If you are a whiny bitch, get the fuck off my blog.
7/10 Good Burgers, but nothing else on the menu made me want to try it. If you are really hungry stay away from this place since each item is sold seperately, plus I didn't see any combos.
-chuck
"Tabasco Funeral"
Monday, May 11, 2009
If I Had To Describe The Taste, The Best Way I Can Put It In 3 Words Is "Tina Fey's Vagina"
Philly's Americana
2155 Expwy 77 N. Suite G
Brownsville, TX 78520
ph: (956)554-7000
I saw this place one night driving over to Denny's. I eagerly awaited for it to open and after a long day at work and dealing with fucking idiots all day, I see the shining open sign like a beautiful set of boobies. I call up a friend and we are there in 5 mins. I walk in and sit down on a coors light barstool [fuck budweiser] and I get handed a menu. I scan it over and it's a simple menu with not much on it. The staff is friendly, atmosphere is good, and the prices are reasonable. After taking a recommendation from the owner I end up getting a Buffalo Chicken "Cheesesteak". Yeah I know, I went to a cheesesteak place and didn't even try the original. I wanted it, I got it. I get to see the food being prepared as I kinda watch sportscenter or some show. The food comes and the first thing me and my "hip" do is smell the greatness. I bite into my sandwich and instanly get hit with the delicious buffalo sauce and provolone. I savoured it as much as I could while devouring it. "Hip" had a mushroom philly. I took a bite from that and was stoked there was an actual amount of mushrooms. Now, since I had ate this being eager and hungry as hell..maybe I liked it just cause of that. So, I went back again. "Hip" and I go back. This time I hit up a original philly with whiz and onions. FUCK YES. I ate this happily watching the Astros play and now as I type this I think im going there for lunch today. I really recommend this place if you like simple things. If you are a person who likes a fill blown menu, you'll hate this place. But if you just want to drink a brew, have a good sandwich and watch a game, then this place is for you.
8/10 they would have gotten a 10 if they had refills. They are just starting out so check them out. Total Tumbs Up...
-chuck
"At War With False Salsas"
2155 Expwy 77 N. Suite G
Brownsville, TX 78520
ph: (956)554-7000
I saw this place one night driving over to Denny's. I eagerly awaited for it to open and after a long day at work and dealing with fucking idiots all day, I see the shining open sign like a beautiful set of boobies. I call up a friend and we are there in 5 mins. I walk in and sit down on a coors light barstool [fuck budweiser] and I get handed a menu. I scan it over and it's a simple menu with not much on it. The staff is friendly, atmosphere is good, and the prices are reasonable. After taking a recommendation from the owner I end up getting a Buffalo Chicken "Cheesesteak". Yeah I know, I went to a cheesesteak place and didn't even try the original. I wanted it, I got it. I get to see the food being prepared as I kinda watch sportscenter or some show. The food comes and the first thing me and my "hip" do is smell the greatness. I bite into my sandwich and instanly get hit with the delicious buffalo sauce and provolone. I savoured it as much as I could while devouring it. "Hip" had a mushroom philly. I took a bite from that and was stoked there was an actual amount of mushrooms. Now, since I had ate this being eager and hungry as hell..maybe I liked it just cause of that. So, I went back again. "Hip" and I go back. This time I hit up a original philly with whiz and onions. FUCK YES. I ate this happily watching the Astros play and now as I type this I think im going there for lunch today. I really recommend this place if you like simple things. If you are a person who likes a fill blown menu, you'll hate this place. But if you just want to drink a brew, have a good sandwich and watch a game, then this place is for you.
8/10 they would have gotten a 10 if they had refills. They are just starting out so check them out. Total Tumbs Up...
-chuck
"At War With False Salsas"
Hollow Flavorless Letdowns....
Taqueria Lilia
2514 Boca Chica Blvd
Brownsville, TX
(956)504-6217
Well, I wanted mexican food. As we were driving down Boca Chica I've always seen this place but never stopped. It's the shack looking place next to Lin's FYI. Anyways, since it's been open since I can remember, I told my partner in crime to check it out. We stopped and wondering if the fucking place was open. It looked dead, no typical music, and I saw jackshit of life. In my head I was thinking it was cause it was late, lets try it out. I sit down and the hag of a waitress asks what we are drinking. I notice there was no refills on anything. NOT EVEN FUCKING TEA. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? SERIOUSLY? ON TEA?! YOU CHEAP FUCKS IT'S WATER AND A GOD DAMN POWDER [well to me it is]. I order a Dr. Pepper and review the menu. This lamenated, badly photoshopped menu had little items...yet the pics on the wall show amazing looking tortas and these flautas. The menus has typical items. Beans, tortas, tacos, nachos, and what caught my eyes...Now, I ask for these amazing looking flautas and wait a reasonable amount of time for them to arrive. As I am trying not to finish my Dr. Pepper, I notice we have been there for a good while and not another person come in. Our food comes and these what seemed to be flautas made of playdoh show up on this plate that looks like it was found in some shitty store downtown. I end up trying to be optomistic on this sorta thing. This looks nothing like the pic. Now, I know you never get anything looking like the pictures you see on tv or menus but this was way off. Basically, I ordered from the picture was a ferrari and I ended up getting a moped. I bit into these crispy tortillas and taste the delicious, nourishing, delightful...tortilla. Wait, what!? Where the chicken? I take another bite wondering to myself if they just didn's spread it out correctly. No chicken taste on the 3rd bite...So I open one of these "flautas" and see that there is chicken..in some parts. Alright, so the flautas suck. NO refills. THE SALSA! MAYBE ATLEAST THAT WILL TASTE GOOD. negative. NOPE. Bland tomato soupy crap with no spices. This place is just striking out. Now, I always finish my meals no matter how bad it is. I get up to pay and now I order 2 orders of flauta. 6 bucks a plate. 2 Dr. Peppers come out to 4 bucks. Now these prices are rounded off and if you add that up...6+6+4+TAX is maybe like 18, 19 bucks. The fucking dude charges me 22 bucks. I ask if tip is included and he says, "No". The fuck? How does this add up? I'm to pissed to give a shit so I pay, don't leave a tip, and I return to my seat. I sip the last of my soda and notice I'm sitting next to the neon open sign. I proceed to turn this light off and leave.
I'm not even going to rate this place. Taqueria Lilia gets a huge Thumbs Down. It even gets the "nah uh" award. NOONE HAS EVER GOTTEN A "NAH UH"
-CHUCK
"If You Are Vegan, Do Not Entry"
2514 Boca Chica Blvd
Brownsville, TX
(956)504-6217
Well, I wanted mexican food. As we were driving down Boca Chica I've always seen this place but never stopped. It's the shack looking place next to Lin's FYI. Anyways, since it's been open since I can remember, I told my partner in crime to check it out. We stopped and wondering if the fucking place was open. It looked dead, no typical music, and I saw jackshit of life. In my head I was thinking it was cause it was late, lets try it out. I sit down and the hag of a waitress asks what we are drinking. I notice there was no refills on anything. NOT EVEN FUCKING TEA. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? SERIOUSLY? ON TEA?! YOU CHEAP FUCKS IT'S WATER AND A GOD DAMN POWDER [well to me it is]. I order a Dr. Pepper and review the menu. This lamenated, badly photoshopped menu had little items...yet the pics on the wall show amazing looking tortas and these flautas. The menus has typical items. Beans, tortas, tacos, nachos, and what caught my eyes...Now, I ask for these amazing looking flautas and wait a reasonable amount of time for them to arrive. As I am trying not to finish my Dr. Pepper, I notice we have been there for a good while and not another person come in. Our food comes and these what seemed to be flautas made of playdoh show up on this plate that looks like it was found in some shitty store downtown. I end up trying to be optomistic on this sorta thing. This looks nothing like the pic. Now, I know you never get anything looking like the pictures you see on tv or menus but this was way off. Basically, I ordered from the picture was a ferrari and I ended up getting a moped. I bit into these crispy tortillas and taste the delicious, nourishing, delightful...tortilla. Wait, what!? Where the chicken? I take another bite wondering to myself if they just didn's spread it out correctly. No chicken taste on the 3rd bite...So I open one of these "flautas" and see that there is chicken..in some parts. Alright, so the flautas suck. NO refills. THE SALSA! MAYBE ATLEAST THAT WILL TASTE GOOD. negative. NOPE. Bland tomato soupy crap with no spices. This place is just striking out. Now, I always finish my meals no matter how bad it is. I get up to pay and now I order 2 orders of flauta. 6 bucks a plate. 2 Dr. Peppers come out to 4 bucks. Now these prices are rounded off and if you add that up...6+6+4+TAX is maybe like 18, 19 bucks. The fucking dude charges me 22 bucks. I ask if tip is included and he says, "No". The fuck? How does this add up? I'm to pissed to give a shit so I pay, don't leave a tip, and I return to my seat. I sip the last of my soda and notice I'm sitting next to the neon open sign. I proceed to turn this light off and leave.
I'm not even going to rate this place. Taqueria Lilia gets a huge Thumbs Down. It even gets the "nah uh" award. NOONE HAS EVER GOTTEN A "NAH UH"
-CHUCK
"If You Are Vegan, Do Not Entry"
The Beginning
So,
This started as a joke with a few friends. And with some time on my hands I decided to actually try this out. I go out to eat alot and usually tell people the check this place out and the sorts, so I'm going to update this blog with my random stuff. I'm not a food critic of any sorts, I'm just a regular dude with regular taste buds. So some of these entries are going to be pretty one sided. Randomly, I will also include entries from others as well...
-Chuck
"Only Mustard Is Real..."
This started as a joke with a few friends. And with some time on my hands I decided to actually try this out. I go out to eat alot and usually tell people the check this place out and the sorts, so I'm going to update this blog with my random stuff. I'm not a food critic of any sorts, I'm just a regular dude with regular taste buds. So some of these entries are going to be pretty one sided. Randomly, I will also include entries from others as well...
-Chuck
"Only Mustard Is Real..."
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