My damn legs almost gave out....

Burgesa Burgers
5921 North 23rd Street
McAllen, TX 78504
phone: 956-687-PESO (7376) fax: 956-686-4FAX (4329)
email: tres@burguesa.com
hours: Monday thru Thursday 10:30am to 9pm
Friday and Saturday 10:30am to 10pm

So my (now defunct) band had a show in Mcallen a few weeks back. Me and Brava were driving up and Marco Fiesta calls me up and tells me to hurry my ass cause Waters wants to go eat at some place I couldn't understand what he was saying. I get into town meet up with the band and we are off. I pull up into this place and make fun of Marco Fiesta for being Mexican and not knowing how to say Burgesa correctly. Anways, this place has a outside and inside dining area and a window you can walk up to. We go inside and look at the menu and get a insta-boner. I saw the monumental. Let me go ahead and tell you what the fuck is in it. from bottom to top: bun, patty, cheese, patty, cheese, ham, a tostada, re-fried beans, lettuce, tomato, onion, avocado, special sauce, bun. When I saw this I nearly passed out from all the blood in my head rushing straight to my wiener. I then notice they have a hot dog as well with white cheese and jalapenos. So now, I don't know if I should get the burger, the hot dog, or both! I decide to just get a burger. Now when you order, you have the option to either get fries or spicy fries. I go ahead and order the spicy fries to see what they are and ask for no special sauce since it's based with mayo. After a small fight with Spot about not adding bacon to her burger, I walk over to get my drink. I stand there in awe at what I couldn't believe what I was looking at. Not only does this place have Coke, Dr Pepper, and Sprite...they fucking have mexican coke, orange soda, lemon soda, and FUCKING GRAPEFRUIT SODA ON GOD DAMN FOUNTAIN. I fill up my cup and wait for my order to come up. After some dude with a accent calls us up I grab my bag and sit down and look inside to find this...

UN PINCHE CHILE ARRIBE BE MI PINCHE BURGESA BIEN CHIDA WAY! NO MAMES!
I pull out my burger and fries and I hand Hermosa her's and we unwrap them.

Shit was like Christmas. After watching Waters, Fiesta, and Party eat their stuff, we dig in. I bite in and the meat is nice and tender and correctly spiced. The tostada adds a nice bit of texture and feeling. I just think if you order this to go and don't eat it soon enough, it might be a bit soggy. The beans and avocado add to the mixture of flavor of not only having American, but also some Mexican tastes in it. The fries are cooked crispy enough and were sprinkled with chili powder for a little kick. Hermosa just got a cheeseburger and actually enjoyed it. Steve Party got a hot dog and told me it was good. I was way too stuffed to get it and didn't want to puke it up later from all the beer. As a little bonus, they give you a lucky taco, which is just a fortune cookie in taco form. Spot felt screwed cause her taco had no fortune. Mine said Pedro told me some shit I don't remember.

I honestly give this place a 9/10 cause of the taste and the fucking soda selection. The combo costs about 8.00 bucks which seems fine to me. I don't really bitch about prices but if you are on a budget, fuck it.This place might get a 10 if that damn hot dog is delicious. And for all you vegans and stuff, they will replace the meat for a veggie patty. How awesome is that for you?!?

-chuck
"EAT.IRON LUNG.DEATH"

worse than having micheal j fox open your beer...

Mimi's Cafe
I'm not posting a fucking address cause it's letting you know where the fuck this shit hole is....

So, here goes. Me and Hip were on our way to Mac-town to do some shopping and other random shit. On the recommendation of The Bear, we decide on going to Mimi's cafe. The place looks pretty nice, with a somewhat patio are for dining consisting of just 3 tables. The place has a the decor of New Orleans style gumbo, creole, salsa, zydeco whatever the fuck. We walk in and stand there and wait to be seated. So for a minute we are there and the wait staff is walking by us. Another couple walks in and stands there and in the next 30 seconds the host walks up and seats them, and as she is walking away asks "Were you going to eat here too?". Well, no shit you dumb bitch. I came in more to look at the beautiful artwork you had and was hoping for info on where your supplier gets wonderful pieces of southern style art! We get seated by a dude who has a tie too small for his girth and we scan the menu. I literally saw nothing that was really tempting. But, I came across a chicken sandwich that looked delicious. I don't even remember what the fuck hip had cause the shit sucked too. Anyways, I get my Dr. Pepper and bullshit with Hip about stuff. Our food comes and we just look at it. I am kinda weary about it, and I take my first bite. I chew and stop and look at hip who hasn't even cut her food yet. She looks at me and just says "It sucks?". NOPE. IT FUCKING BLOWS. The bland as chicken has no flavor and the only thing i can even taste is something I don't know what it is but it taste like cardboard. Hip eats her's and just sighs. Now, I love food and in the history of me eating at restaurants...I HAVE NEVER RETURNED A PLATE. NEVER NEVER NEVER. I'm sitting there and try another bite trying to maybe think to myself its good. I fail at that and when the waiter returns I tell him how bad the food is. I ask for something different. I ordered something else that i dont even fucking remember. I sat there looking at my 2nd failed meal. I drank the soda to wash out the taste. I sat there looking around at the other shit people were eating and how in the fuck they were enjoying it. I also then realized Hip and I were the only people under the age of 60 there (besides the staff). I left my food, paid my bill and walked out....

All in all, I rate this place a huge fuck you. this place sucked more ass than a old man doing a rusty trumpet. I vow never to go back to this place. The Bear told me to go back and have the chicken pot pie. but if i wanted that shit I'd just go to HEB.

How Original...

Taqueria Los Patrones
1900 N. Expressway 77
Brownsville, Texas 78521
(956) 542-2967


Alrighty, so Hip has a bad day at work and wants to go have a drink or two. How the fuck am I going to say no to beer. So we head to "The Bar" and as we get there she says she wants to get something to eat real quick. So, next door to the bar is this taco place. We walk in and I sit down at the bar they have for some reason and this dude gives us a menu. Now, after getting the menu, the waiter lets us know that they only go tacos al pastor and hamburgers. Why even try to be open? What I wanted wasnt even available. So, I get the tacos al pastor, and Hip ends up somehow ordering flautas. Now, HIP LOVES FLAUTAS. She end sup loving this place cause they went out of their way and made her some. Me? I wasn't so thrilled. This place had the same atmosphere and every hole in the wall. I get my tacos and they are just like every damn taco place out there. I bite into them. Same taste. Now, I know right now I sound fucking stupid, but I mean there has been times when you go eat somewhere and the same fucking item they sell everywhere is so much better. I mean, look at how fucking popular Betty's Tortas got. It was the same shit, but something about those were so fucking good. Maybe they even went as far as adding cocaine to the butter they would spread on them. Anyways, I eat my food and drink my soda. That's as much as I can say. No cool story. Nothing spectacular. Just food.

Yup. Just like any other lamenated taco place menu.


These kinda look better than most flautas, but they weren't.

I rate this place as a 5 for not being horrible but not being good. This place was so mundane, I couldn't even think of anything funny, exciting, or even bullshit about it. meh....

-CHUCK
"Black Beans Of The Damned"

Winds Of Change....

I'm thinking of changing up the blog to include food, music and some other random shit...I guess basically making this blog my own little corner of the internet...

I haven't posted a new review in a while cause im pondering what to fucking do...

More like...FUCK YES GRILL

Fajitas Grill
568 Springmart Blvd Ste, 1300
Brownsville, Texas
(956)350-2200


Well, Pala and her boy were eating and sent me a text asking if I was hungry. I replied "yes" and thus, I recieved some tacos from some place she was at. They were good and she mentioned where they were from but I was busy at work and just let it be. So, some times passes and Hip wants some flautas. We make a wrong turn and end up by Fajitas Grill. Hip pulls in and we get out and she was all skeptical. The waiter, Raul, was super nice. He answered all our questions and eases Hip into eating there. Me, I didn't really give a shit cause I was hungry. Like any other mexican food place, no refills (only on tea), badass mexican sodas, and tea. I order a tea and they serve us a huge ass glass which makes me happy. Now, the whole time Raul is being badass. He brings us our salsa, which the green was the best, our tortilla chips, lemons, and the such. To my surprise, Raul brings us some bowl with guacamole. What is awesome is that it is unmixed and Hip gets a bit and mixes it without onion and I can mix all I want together. We ordered a thing called the Sencilla "para 2" and ask for white cheese to be added. Raul bring us some beans. Now, being from South Texas and eating at so many mexican restaurants, usually, they don't give a shit about the beans. Well, this place does. I was suprised they tasted good alone, and even better when I added some green salsa and a pinch of salt. Teamed up with some tostadas, this shit was good. This next sentence way sound weird or gross, but I don't give a shit and I'm going to say it. Even the bean water was delicious! ha ha ha. I added some crushed chips and ate it like that. They also brought us a small amount of rice...but it kinda sucked. Not too much flavor, Raul pops up with our food and I marvel at it. Hip gets her fork and digs in and I get all giddy when this happens...

AWWWW YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Now, that is some epic shit that belongs up there with blow jobs, firecrackers, and getting records in the mail! The fajtita is nicely seasoned and soft. Not too soft where it falls apart but lets you savour it as you chew through it. The chicken fajita is tender and I liked it, but Hip thought it sucked. And, the sausage was a nice little side item to have. I made a few tacos of fajita, guacamole, grilled onions, green salsa, and some rice. Try it out!

I rate this place a 7/10 and a thumbs up. I was surprised at the great service Raul offered but, like always my gripe is on refills...but nothing else. I gave it a 7 cause I haven't tried other menu items. I recommend this place if you're going to chill with some friends. Funny thing is that the tvs they had on, were playing 1000 ways to die and powerpuff girls ha ha ha. Remember to tip Raul if you get him well.

Chuck
"Cibatta Of Ghouls"

*quick side note*
They told me during the upcoming playoff games, they will have 1.50 domestic bottle beers, half priced botanas, and half priced sencilla plates (which is what we ordered)!!!!


A nice view of the cheese covered food, the small bean bowl, and the guacamole bowl. Check out how huge the tea glass looks!

I'm back bitches!

So, I have a fuck ton of unpublished posts for this blog. I have been neglecting most of the shit in my life to deal with school and other superficial shit, but now I got the time to update this more often. I may scrap the old posts and redo the format. I am also making some stickers to advertise the blog but I need some photoshop help. More on that later. Anyways, I recently joined the 21st century and got a new cellphone. I now will be including pictures of the dishes, as well as other shit too! The next post will be up either tonight or tomorrow. stay tuned!


Chuck
"Unholy Crepe"


Done by Krystal ha ha ha